Choice in Change

Change…the thing we love to hate.

We want change but we fight it.

It comes at our own hand and often by things beyond control.

It’s a concept built into God’s design.

Sitting at one of the most pivotal moments of my life, it’s not the circumstances I ponder but the change that is happening.  And I’ve come to a few conclusions about myself…

  1.  I hate change
  2. Change breeds and feeds the control in me
  3. I fear change
  4. Change is hard
  5. Change is inevitible

This is much self reflection as I write, but it is my desire is that God uses the transparency of my very real struggles to meet you where you are.  Change is real, and change for me is just downright scary.

Many of the changes in my life have been results of the decisions I have made, some good and some, well, not so good.  Those are the ones that I can deal with, chalk up as lessons learned or rejoice in the successes and growth they brought into my life.  It’s not those I ponder today, but the ones that have been dealt to me, dictated by someone or something that is simply beyond my control.  Those are the ones I hate, that I fear and that are hard ultimately because they remove my control.

This is where I sit today. The battle between my soul and my self (flesh).  Feeling the instability of not having control of what is next.  Yet when I take a step back, I realize it’s the place I’ve needed to be for a very long time.

The letting go place.

I have thought much the last few days about the change that Jesus walked through in such a short time.  The shift from becoming the carpenter’s son to the miracle worker.  The change from becoming the long awaited one to the ultimate sacrifice.  The change from having the perfect communion with his father to carrying the weight of all that he didn’t even deserve.  Fair?  No way.  Confusing?  Absolutely!  Lacking stability to those closest to him?  Yes.  Necessary?  More that they even knew.

What I’m realizing in this journey “through”, is that purpose will not be seen in the midst of the change.  That’s the lie.  That is what we wrestle with to try to understand.  The voice screams loudly that the changes are worthless, too hard, cost too much.  But the whispered word keeps resounding loudly in my head “For the joy set before him , he endured the cross…” (Heb 12:2).

Can I see the joy set before me  as I’m enduring the journey of the change?

It is here I can see myself as the victim of the change or use it as the tool to live a victorious life.  Perspective….it always lands back here.

Sitting in the beautiful South, the seasons are changing.  From the bleak winter months of seemingly no growth to the budding of spring and now heading toward  a summer that always brings life in abundance I begin to understand the words of Solomon that there is a time, a season if you will, for everything.  Without the dead quiet of winter, there is no opportunity for new growth and without spring bursting forth there is no new life.

Change…all part of the master plan for creation.

So could it be the thing that I was sure was death is actually the breeding ground for the “new thing” I must perceive?  The thing I cannot yet see with my eyes but when I change my perspective to the wide lens of God becomes a bit more clear?  Yes, change is definitely always been part of the plan.

So it is with endurance and faith I embrace the change and all that it brings with it.  I embrace the fear, the uncertainty and the instability knowing that there is a joy set before me, that there is a plan greater than any I could hope, dream or imagine and I fall head long into a grace and love in this next season that will surpass the impossibilities and provide fertile ground for dreams bigger than I can ever imagine.

Change is the fertile ground where dream seeds and impossible hopes are realized in an infinite God.

Here’s to the change of seasons, here’s to a victorious life and here’s to a heart cry that was met with unexplainable change.

Embrace the change today, embrace the fear, embrace the instability and in the words of the world of The Matrix “see how far the rabbit hole goes”.  Ready for this next wild ride!

Rejoicing in the change with peace in my soul….Dee
Obstacles

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Cageless Perspective

Lose your life to gain it.

Sow in order to reap.

Blessed to be a blessing.

Praise demands a sacrifice.

What I feel as a loss God sees as freedom.

All can make sense, yet all dependent upon perspective.

My human perspective, usually, is on what has been lost, the world and the culture is about gain…gain money, gain mass, gain education, gain friends, gain influence, yet Jesus was always about losing and giving away.  He walked with no worry, no stress, in perfect peace, yet possessed nothing that we would see as valuable, even his relationships were with the least desirable, not those who could gain Him the most in that day.

This is the paradox of kingdom life…upside down.  Loss IS freedom…no parameters, endless, boundless and infinite.  Makes sense that Jesus would talk of freedom.  Because it is in that freedom that we see the love…wide, deep, fathomless love.

He tells us to cast away anything that “entangles” us.  Traps us.  Enslaves us.  All speak of freedom.  So why is it so difficult to lose?

We FEEL the loss.  That’s what loss is….yes it is apparent to the eye but more of it is a feeling, especially when it’s something of value.  We want to seek after it until the loss is satisfied.  No love there, just loss.  But then He says let it go…3 small but very difficult words to actually flesh out.

Feelings are attached to what is of value.  So when the thing of value is lost then we “feel” the loss.  But what if that was so upside down?  And what if the loss of one thing is always the gain of another?  That works with a kingdom that is balanced and works harmoniously.  So in the loss there is always freedom, in God’s perspective.

We must deal with the feelings to see the freedom.

The feelings are what keeps the vision at bay.  The feelings are where the enemy preys.  Where the lies take root and then the more the feelings are fed, the feelings live and grow like vines that entangle our thoughts and eventually our actions until we are enslaved by them.

But this infinite freedom is what God wants us to see.  Free to experience His grace, free to delve deeper into His love, free to really experience how high, wide and deep is all that He has for us.

I feel loss, yet I make it all I see.  He sees freedom, period.  Truth is concrete, feelings are relative.  Freedom is concrete, you either are or you are not…no gray area.  No partial freedom.  Either free or enslaved.

So today the camera pans out…the lens widens and the perspective changes.  A loss, a letting go up close is all you see, but from 10,000 feet there is so much more.  There is a future, there are dreams, there is clear vision, there is a hope and a good plan.

A choice…limited or endless, cages or freedom, fear or faith, loss or life…

This soul chooses to live, let it go and see just where the journey leads…choose this day what you will serve…yes it’s that plain and simple and the choice for our soul is all ours.

Where will you live today?  Would love to hear from you!

Blessing your soulife…Dee

Words

The power of the tongue can carry life and death.

I have been pondering the prolific use of words in our society lately.  In a country where freedom of speech is allowed at unprecedented levels with very little censorship or boundaries, words seem to be the driving force behind life as we know it.  Words, spoken in every way from casual conversation to eloquent prose both written and even sung, they are in every moment of our life, often creating the rhythm by which we move.  I often have wondered what would happen if someone suddenly yelled “QUIET”, and it actually happened!

Can you imagine if the world suddenly became silent? And even the written word momentarily vanished?  What would we be left with?

Silence.

Quiet.

Stillness.

With only the heartbeat of the natural beating in our ears and laying itself bare before our eyes.  Crazy thought…but one that holds much appeal these days.

In the bible, David, Soloman, James and Peter all spoke of the tongue and the power of our words.  Soloman, notably one of the wisest and wealthiest men to ever live in that time, even went so far as to write that it carries the power of life and death.  Interesting proposition…

How often do I speak careless words, and have conversations that are meaningless and even at times could be harmful?

Martin Luther King used his words to inspire and incite a dream to come to life.  Ghandi used his words to speak peace.  Billy Graham used his words to effect the eternity of thousands.  Today, words are tools that create chaos, bring destruction and destroy families and relationships.  But what if your few words could be the catalyst for changing that?

Me?  Well I am just one voice…that’s the lie.  The lie that silences our voice, makes us think we do not matter and what we have to say, write or sing carries no weight.  But here’s the truth…

It does.

What are the words dying to escape your lips?

Better yet, where are those words being birthed?  What is your soul really wanting to speak.  It is said that out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. So the real question on the table is where is your abundance?  Is it in what you can gain from the words you speak?  Is it an abundance of fear keeping you silent only to allow something to continue to wither and die, or is there a deeper abundance that is screaming to get out?

Pondering silence always brings me back to the heart of the matter.  Silence is necessary yet we fight it.  And without the silence we lose the appreciation of the words around us.

Be still and know that I am God (Ps 46:10)

We want to know God, but there is a requirement…stillness, quietness, silence.  I remember a time that it was clear that I was not to sing.  No biggie, right?  Well for a worship leader, for one who music is the vehicle by which God carries you and your instrument is your voice this was devastating.  I was not sure how I could survive.  Not sing?  Really God?  But then it was clear…

Sometimes we are so busy operating in our gift, or making our requests known to God that our voice becomes so loud we cannot hear the Creator.  As Paul said in I Corinthians 13:1 we are like a clanging cymbal.  And its because our words are flowing out of a self love not a love for our Creator, our need to be heard.

So I silenced by voice…for months…maddeningly hard at first but then in the stillness and quiet came the peace that God knew I so desperately craved but had no idea I needed.  And it was in the quiet, in the stillness, His love washed over me, His unraveling of myself began and He began to reveal to me who I really was and the depth of His love for me. IT was here in the silence I found my voice.  Silence spoke to my soul and unlocked a place I didn’t know existed.

So how quiet is your world?  Does your soul scream chaos or are there whispers of peace flowing through you?  In that desperate place is where our true soul voice lies…the place that feeds us and the place that the enemy of our soul wants so desperately to silence by drowning it out.

I challenge you today…be still…be quiet…take a moment and breathe and let the Creator of your soul speak in gentle whispers of love.  Fight the discomfort and just do it…it just may unlock that voice that the world so desperately needs to hear!

Blessings to your soul,

Dee

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