Sleepwalking

Against my normal writing style I’m going right to the point.

In this life are you really awake or just sleepwalking through it?  Silly question?  Maybe, but really think about it.  If we were totally awake every moment would we see things differently?  Or are we sleepwalking, just going through learned motions of life that bring us comfort yet lead us nowhere?

In light of this contentious world we live in today, I believe this is a valid question we really need to ask ourselves.  And and when we get to the root of the answer, it can get quite scary and raw.  At first response we all want to say yes, I am wide awake.  I have a career, a family, responsibilities and I’m doing just fine.  But if you’re really wide awake then your lens of life just got expanded far beyond those surface realities.  Are you really fine or going through the motions of the comfortable, safe life you’ve created for yourself?

You see, a life fully awake sees beyond whats immediately around you.  There is a larger picture.  And in that picture WE are not the focus.

Yes, thats the raw part.  This culture we live in today is about getting all you can, look good on the outside, do good as long as it makes you look good and doesn’t cost too much.  Today is about me.  Of course we say its about family and helping others, but what happens when that interferes with our plans or doesn’t agree with our way of thinking?  Or what happens when we just don’t get our own way?  Or if the cost is too high?  Let the tantrum begin!

We don’t call it a tantrum.  We see it as sharing our opinion, protesting, writing an opinionated social media post, irregardless of who it hurts or what the fallout is.  It’s our right to share our opinion, right?

Or is it?

Sleepwalking is autopilot, doing what the crowd does, following the norm.  Wide awake makes us see more that what’s in our immediate space.  We see communities, diversity, feelings, emotions, creation and all the things that stir our soul.  Sleepwalking walks right past the wounded, the different, and the lonely as it’s not on OUR path or OUR agenda.  Sleepwalking is the state of busy we live in and the self preservation and exercising our rights to everything we deem necessary even if it crowds out others and only makes way for us.

Sadly, I’ve realized that it’s the sleepwalking that is revered; that is the norm.  And sadly I find myself many days in that trap, centered around the wrong thing but thinking it’s all okay.  I fight the wide awake and the raw, transparent vulnerability it brings.

Yet in that raw, vulnerable, face-down surrendered place is where the breakthrough happens and one wakes up.

It is this place which I challenge you as God has challenged me.  It’s a place we dare not go as the vulnerability is like a thief ready to snatch all that we are.  But it is also this place where one will find rest for the soul.

The true soulife begins here, but never ends here.  You see the art of living wide awake takes us back to this place again and again, to shake off the world, our own self and the pride that daily life brings.  We are brought back to the place to see with a new lens, a wider lens and a window to life that is limitless.  I want to live wide awake and never miss a moment that God has in front of me.  So perspective adjustment is necessary, as always, and stepping into the next season.  And I realize that here, at wide awake, I am truly free and learning the rhythm of grace and love that I can then extend to the world around me.

So where are you, sleepwalking or wide awake?  That is the question posed to all of us daily and the one again this morning I ask myself as I’m brought back to center, face-down and humbled but so empowered.

The change begins with me…learning to love from the inside out.  Raw, vulnerable and yet so fully alive.

Here’s to your soulife my friends…the end of you and me is the entrance to life abundant!

3 John 1:2 (NKJV)  “Beloved, I pray that you may proser in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers”

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Purposeful Searching

Life is like a game of hide and seek.

I remember as a little girl not really liking this game.  There were too many unknowns.  No parameters and certainly no strategy when who was “it” constantly changed.  Unable to really know your pursuor  and where they would go, the options became endless.  Upon discovering the best hiding place, you would wait with frightened anticipation in this cat and mouse game.  But it was only a game and everyone was always found.

Until they weren’t.

Not being found, though the goal of the game, was also my biggest fear.  What if I outsmarted them but in their childish distraction stopped looking?  Just how long does one stay hidden before you come out and make your presence known?  Like I said previously, no parameters and too many unknown variables.

Life is like a game of hide and seek.

You see every child yearns to be known, yearns to be found and not forgotten.  From the most flamboyant and outgoing child who garners all the attention with every entrance, to the quiet, introspective one who silently screams come find me we all innately want to be found and known.

Yet in a culture that screams “look at me” “see what I’ve done and where I am” we still play the hide and seek game.

What if all the “look at me” was really a lost searching cry of “help me find the real me”?

Transparency and openness will kill hide and seek.  With no where to hide, we are all in the open.

That was not very profound and very obvious but in many ways evokes more fear in us than the thought of hiding so long we are never found.  Thus leading me to purposeful searching.

When we search with purpose there is a plan.  We have some set parameters.  Like in a treasure hunt.  Looking for buried treasure is purposeful searching.  Armed with maps, a GPS or compass and a clear knowledge of what the goal is, we can launch a successful treasure hunt.

So what if we approached life like a treasure hunt versus a game of hide and seek?  What if we approached ourselves and our life as a treasure hunt?

Purposeful searching.

What is often forgotten is that we have the treasure map in our hands.  God says his Word is a “lamp unto our feet”.  It’s the dashed line with the path already marked for our unique journey.

In the movies, there are scenes where the treasure map is found yet the finder has no ability to decipher it.  It is only by learning the “code” or language or even seeing it at a certain angle that the truth of the journey is illuminated.  So it seems if the treasure to be found, then one must use the right eyes or hear the correct language.  Like in hide and seek…it’s always about knowing where to look!

So it is with all of us.  God has so uniquely made each of us that He uses what is our own unique code to seek and find us.  He is a relentless seeker, but the question remains if we want to be found and brought out into the light.  The age old question.

“Lost are saved (found), find their way a the sound of Your great name.” (Your Great Name – Natalie Grant)

When we fear not being found or not being able to find or see the way, when we feel our game of hide and seek has gone terribly wrong and no one will ever know we are there, we are provided an escape….Jesus.

All He wants is the “real me” the real treasure to be found…for the one He created to step into the light, to stop hiding and hoping someone will seek me.  He has been seeking all along, to bring us back to show us the treasure is not in the hidden places but in the light of His beautiful grace.

Purposeful searching…not for the things hidden, but for what was so close.  The search is really over, His plan was the purpose all along.

The real me is the purpose in the plan, to bring us each back to the place where, as in the beginning, there is intimacy and we are found.  It is only when we stop the hiding and we simply seek…that there we will find.

Just some simple ponderings….may your soulife be blessed and you find purpose in the search…Dee

Airports and Endless Adventures

That wanderlust thing…guess I’ve always had it.

The discontentment was never with life as I know it, but the discontentment of being in one place for too long.  What a realization as I walked down the long corridor toward the gate…I was meant to do this the rest of my life…I was always meant to do this.

Purpose.

“We are each born with a purpose, but we choose our destiny.” – Paula White

That truth rings in my ears, yet the fear silences it with the whisper of, “What if you choose wrong?”  Thus, keeping my feet planted all too often, forsaking purpose and the choice of an amazing destiny laid before me for the safety and security of a life well lived.

What is going on?  Sell it all?  Leave it all behind?  For what and for where?

A life of adventure, only to visit…never to stay.

So many cultures, so many people, everyone going somewhere yet many going no where.  Amid all the wealth and success, the bigness of it all, there is a dark, hidden, opposing factor of lack.

Heartbreaking how we can be asleep yet fully awake.

Fine lines are drawn between our opinionated right or simple choice to ignore and tolerance, acceptance and truth that loves bravely and does not speak judgement. Lines that separate and lines that can become walls, lines that rob us of a plan far bigger than ourselves keeping us stagnant yet seemingly walking forward.  I ponder those and closely examine the walls I’ve surrounded myself with first.

Appearing awake, yet really asleep.

Funny how being in the middle of a crowd you can feel completely alone, endlessly connected but in a cave of loneliness.

Noise everywhere but the loudest noise is inside me.  And if in me then it’s likely in many others.

Where do you find yourself today?  Fully awake?  Alert times 10?  Or when you really look at yourself, are you missing what is right in front of you and going on around you because of the chaos and discontent within?

Appearing awake, yet really asleep, walking toward the next adventure, yet having no where to go.

In a world of striving for success, for the next big thing, the next business deal, the next investment, the next big adventure are we missing what is placed right in front of us?  Are we missing the simple in the midst of a complicated life we’ve created for ourselves?

Funny how an airport can spur such thoughts that have evolved into ramblings.

Then, as I settle into a few moments of simple quiet to muse over and pen my thoughts, the voice comes across the table.  Random comment concerning a physical attribute leading to a conversation, leading to a connection, leading to an opportunity to plant a seed.  How easily I could have missed it.  How easily I could have brushed it aside and ignored what was right in front of me for the sake of being distracted by something I thought so important at the moment.  How easily I could have checked my phone, gone back to typing and missed a moment…one that would be lost forever.  But response birthed conversation and we left better than we arrived.

How many times has the rush and the wanderlust caused me to miss what is right here? Yes there are conversations to happen, connections to make and purpose to fulfill.  But this traveler needs to enjoy the journey and not just look at the destination.  Every step, however small, is one more opportunity, every kind word a place to show love and impact a life.

Yes, I was purposed with a wanderlust, a yearning for more, a restless spirit never to settle.  Yet, on the journey toward the path called destiny there is even more!

Purpose?  Have one.  Destiny?  Moving toward one.  Journey?  The joy in both!

Here’s to living one moment, one day, one experience and one simple, kind word at a time. Here’s to seasons and change and death that brings growth.  Here’s to a Papa that loves enough to never leave us even in the valleys and who celebrates with us on the mountains.  Here’s to friends, conversations, tears and journeys….most of all, here’s to the fabulous, fearless, unique you….love big, live loud and laugh more…it’s all good for the soulife!

From a heart in overflow…Lots of love…Dee