Busy…Unplugged

Pumpkin spice lattes, cool weather and a cloudy mornings all beg for a fuzzy blanket, pjs all day and introspection.  Suddenly I realize what it is.

I slowed down.

You may be thinking how silly that is, but for this girl this is a most uncomfortable place.  A place where I am alone with my thoughts, void of distraction and a space and time begging for some serious attention to my soul.

Someone gave me a plaque once that read “Stop glorifying busy”.  I laughed at the moment to cover the serious jab to all I was but truth be told, it continues to rock me.   In a world of more, higher achievement, faster pace, productivity and goals, glorifying busy is one of the most true statements of the day.  The ending of one day is closed out making a “to do” list for the next.  Sleep sometimes does not come easy as thoughts of what was not accomplished that day and all that remains for the next haunt us like little gremlins vying for time and space in the already complicated life we are living.  Then there are the unexpected things, the unplanned that now must be added to the planned…the illness, the repair, the crisis of the moment.  One day rolls into two then it’s a busy week, month, year, life.  Our soul is screaming to stop the madness through our aching shoulders and tired minds.

But yet the world, myself included, continue to GLORIFY  this busy.

It’s as if busy is an identity we carry, an excuse we use and a goal we set for ourselves.  Thus being still, slowing down is it’s antithesis, quickly becoming the thing that we shame ourselves for.

Truth:  The soul CRAVES stillness, quiet and slow when growth and alignment must occur.

Yet from a carnal place we have adopted the belief that WE are in control of our growth and that only comes with work, fast and busy.  Now I’m not alluding to adopting a mindset of laziness;  we have a part to play in all this.  There IS work that must be done, there is an element of “do” on our part.  I believe what I am continually learning is the lesson of balance.

Between the “have to”, the “need to” and the “want to” it feels like a constant dance with no consistent tempo.  Yet we ARE wired to dance, just to the tempo of one partner.  When I give my soul the moment to rest with my creator, the clarity begins to come, the alignment will happen and with that the rhythm of the dance my life was created for begins to flow.  It is there that I hear not only those things begging my attention, the busy in my life, but a louder voice of peace.  Not a voice I was ever familiar with most of my life, but one I’m learning to hear.  That still place, that whispered quiet that begs my attention above all else.

Balance happens.

So again today, I sip my coffee, hear the wetlands awaken and the wind rustle the trees.  The reminder of who is in control returns and the whispered quiet begins to balance an out of balance week and life.  It’s a dance whose steps I am still learning yet one my heart yearns for.

So if you’ve fallen under the weight of busyness, lost yourself in glorifying what was never meant to be or your just tired, then stop….for a day, an hour, a moment.  Get still, stop spinning both internally and externally and listen…to your heartbeat, to the wind, to the whisper of your soul and just be.

Let the dance begin….

Peace be yours,

Dee

 

Moments, Words, Life

Restoration, redemption, faith, blessing in the moments, words of life.

My pondering this morning…

The sunlight streams across the page , the air is cool and crisp, the birds and squirrels alive in their morning hallelujahs.

Songs of a new day that is born, seeking the blessings and abundance before them for just this moment, this day, no worry for what’s next.  Working with the surety that the Father has provided, with no effort, all they need.  They only awaken with the wonder of the sunlight.

Sunlight…that’s a funny thing….all is silent until the  sun streams in.  As if there is such new life in the sun.  And not a small amount…but an abundance of life, joy and excitement!

What a sweet reminder of all that is given to me today.  The provision, the abundance is there daily.  You Papa just want me to see the joy in the new day, in the daily.  That unexpected blessing that can only come from You.  There is such peace and ease in that surrender.

You lead me here to the still, peaceful, quiet waters of your Presence.  A place where perfect peace casts out all fear, a place where there is surrender.

Making me lie down,

To stop,

To be tucked in that secret and quiet place You hold only for me.

Here, in this still place, I can drink from where you have me, drink from the love and grace you offer, from the healing you died for  and for the comfort this safe place provides.  You give me a respite from life, from stress, from the world.  A place where Your voice is louder than the chaos I call life.

Here I can breathe in deeply, filling and expanding my lungs with clean air, air that pushes out fear, shame, regret and anxiety.  Air that brings fresh new life into dead and dying places, air that truly restores.  Pushing the oxygen of Your life-breath into my bloodstream to flow to my mind and body…life-blood of healing, recovery and transformation.  As if now, in this place, my heart beats easier and stronger.

Bravery and boldness begin to rise.

Dense fog that has clouded my vision clears and I emerge from this resting place, sun in my face, with a new awareness of its warmth and light.

My heart is so gently stirred.

Move..move…move

Ever so slightly at first, but now the move is confident and sure, full of faith, knowing and trusting the Director of the direction.  Clearer understanding of the peace of faith, the journey, not the destination, of faith.

A clearer course now set

Today…be thankful for the journey, for the never-ending love and grace, for the unexpected blessings and even unexpected trials for in all the goodness of the Father’s heart is there.

Psalm 23:6 “Your beauty and love chase after me everyday of my life.  I’m back home in the house of God for the rest of my life.” (the Message)

From a soulife overwhelmed with Papa’s goodness today….Dee

Purposeful Searching

Life is like a game of hide and seek.

I remember as a little girl not really liking this game.  There were too many unknowns.  No parameters and certainly no strategy when who was “it” constantly changed.  Unable to really know your pursuor  and where they would go, the options became endless.  Upon discovering the best hiding place, you would wait with frightened anticipation in this cat and mouse game.  But it was only a game and everyone was always found.

Until they weren’t.

Not being found, though the goal of the game, was also my biggest fear.  What if I outsmarted them but in their childish distraction stopped looking?  Just how long does one stay hidden before you come out and make your presence known?  Like I said previously, no parameters and too many unknown variables.

Life is like a game of hide and seek.

You see every child yearns to be known, yearns to be found and not forgotten.  From the most flamboyant and outgoing child who garners all the attention with every entrance, to the quiet, introspective one who silently screams come find me we all innately want to be found and known.

Yet in a culture that screams “look at me” “see what I’ve done and where I am” we still play the hide and seek game.

What if all the “look at me” was really a lost searching cry of “help me find the real me”?

Transparency and openness will kill hide and seek.  With no where to hide, we are all in the open.

That was not very profound and very obvious but in many ways evokes more fear in us than the thought of hiding so long we are never found.  Thus leading me to purposeful searching.

When we search with purpose there is a plan.  We have some set parameters.  Like in a treasure hunt.  Looking for buried treasure is purposeful searching.  Armed with maps, a GPS or compass and a clear knowledge of what the goal is, we can launch a successful treasure hunt.

So what if we approached life like a treasure hunt versus a game of hide and seek?  What if we approached ourselves and our life as a treasure hunt?

Purposeful searching.

What is often forgotten is that we have the treasure map in our hands.  God says his Word is a “lamp unto our feet”.  It’s the dashed line with the path already marked for our unique journey.

In the movies, there are scenes where the treasure map is found yet the finder has no ability to decipher it.  It is only by learning the “code” or language or even seeing it at a certain angle that the truth of the journey is illuminated.  So it seems if the treasure to be found, then one must use the right eyes or hear the correct language.  Like in hide and seek…it’s always about knowing where to look!

So it is with all of us.  God has so uniquely made each of us that He uses what is our own unique code to seek and find us.  He is a relentless seeker, but the question remains if we want to be found and brought out into the light.  The age old question.

“Lost are saved (found), find their way a the sound of Your great name.” (Your Great Name – Natalie Grant)

When we fear not being found or not being able to find or see the way, when we feel our game of hide and seek has gone terribly wrong and no one will ever know we are there, we are provided an escape….Jesus.

All He wants is the “real me” the real treasure to be found…for the one He created to step into the light, to stop hiding and hoping someone will seek me.  He has been seeking all along, to bring us back to show us the treasure is not in the hidden places but in the light of His beautiful grace.

Purposeful searching…not for the things hidden, but for what was so close.  The search is really over, His plan was the purpose all along.

The real me is the purpose in the plan, to bring us each back to the place where, as in the beginning, there is intimacy and we are found.  It is only when we stop the hiding and we simply seek…that there we will find.

Just some simple ponderings….may your soulife be blessed and you find purpose in the search…Dee

Airports and Endless Adventures

That wanderlust thing…guess I’ve always had it.

The discontentment was never with life as I know it, but the discontentment of being in one place for too long.  What a realization as I walked down the long corridor toward the gate…I was meant to do this the rest of my life…I was always meant to do this.

Purpose.

“We are each born with a purpose, but we choose our destiny.” – Paula White

That truth rings in my ears, yet the fear silences it with the whisper of, “What if you choose wrong?”  Thus, keeping my feet planted all too often, forsaking purpose and the choice of an amazing destiny laid before me for the safety and security of a life well lived.

What is going on?  Sell it all?  Leave it all behind?  For what and for where?

A life of adventure, only to visit…never to stay.

So many cultures, so many people, everyone going somewhere yet many going no where.  Amid all the wealth and success, the bigness of it all, there is a dark, hidden, opposing factor of lack.

Heartbreaking how we can be asleep yet fully awake.

Fine lines are drawn between our opinionated right or simple choice to ignore and tolerance, acceptance and truth that loves bravely and does not speak judgement. Lines that separate and lines that can become walls, lines that rob us of a plan far bigger than ourselves keeping us stagnant yet seemingly walking forward.  I ponder those and closely examine the walls I’ve surrounded myself with first.

Appearing awake, yet really asleep.

Funny how being in the middle of a crowd you can feel completely alone, endlessly connected but in a cave of loneliness.

Noise everywhere but the loudest noise is inside me.  And if in me then it’s likely in many others.

Where do you find yourself today?  Fully awake?  Alert times 10?  Or when you really look at yourself, are you missing what is right in front of you and going on around you because of the chaos and discontent within?

Appearing awake, yet really asleep, walking toward the next adventure, yet having no where to go.

In a world of striving for success, for the next big thing, the next business deal, the next investment, the next big adventure are we missing what is placed right in front of us?  Are we missing the simple in the midst of a complicated life we’ve created for ourselves?

Funny how an airport can spur such thoughts that have evolved into ramblings.

Then, as I settle into a few moments of simple quiet to muse over and pen my thoughts, the voice comes across the table.  Random comment concerning a physical attribute leading to a conversation, leading to a connection, leading to an opportunity to plant a seed.  How easily I could have missed it.  How easily I could have brushed it aside and ignored what was right in front of me for the sake of being distracted by something I thought so important at the moment.  How easily I could have checked my phone, gone back to typing and missed a moment…one that would be lost forever.  But response birthed conversation and we left better than we arrived.

How many times has the rush and the wanderlust caused me to miss what is right here? Yes there are conversations to happen, connections to make and purpose to fulfill.  But this traveler needs to enjoy the journey and not just look at the destination.  Every step, however small, is one more opportunity, every kind word a place to show love and impact a life.

Yes, I was purposed with a wanderlust, a yearning for more, a restless spirit never to settle.  Yet, on the journey toward the path called destiny there is even more!

Purpose?  Have one.  Destiny?  Moving toward one.  Journey?  The joy in both!

Here’s to living one moment, one day, one experience and one simple, kind word at a time. Here’s to seasons and change and death that brings growth.  Here’s to a Papa that loves enough to never leave us even in the valleys and who celebrates with us on the mountains.  Here’s to friends, conversations, tears and journeys….most of all, here’s to the fabulous, fearless, unique you….love big, live loud and laugh more…it’s all good for the soulife!

From a heart in overflow…Lots of love…Dee

 

Today I Choose…

I hate choices….

By nature I am indecisive.  Some will call it free-spirited, creative, innovative but basically I can call it what I want but… I’m indecisive.  And this does not work well in real life, and especially not in my life with Jesus.

Making a decision for some comes very easy.  That’s who they are…organized, decisive, goal-oriented, sensible.  But for people like me who are emotional, compassionate, who desire to be goal-oriented but just can’t decide what to do next this is the daily struggle. These days God is trying His best to teach me a few things about choices.  You see, the God who created us created us with a will and the ability to have a choice.  That’s what separates us from every other living being…choice.  We choose who to love, choose who to serve, choose what to do next, choose to run or to hide.

Choice…

I have realized that every choice I make comes at some sort of a cost.  This can look like giving up time, or finances or even, here lately, relationships.  I have also realized that since in the kingdom it is people that are it’s currency, it is the price of relationships that seemingly are the most costly.  My time can simply  be a  rearrangement and the finances can be recovered but the relationships lost actually leave a cavernous void.

Choices, both in and out of God’s will, cost us.  When choices we know are in God’s will cost a relationship that creates the place of questioning, of doubt, and of confusion.  Why would obedience come at such a high cost?

But then there is Jesus…

I guess it always comes back to this place.  In the intersections of choice I often respond, react and question as if Jesus doesn’t understand…I know, silly, right?  But my humanity wants to function on feeling and what “looks” right or not right, what’s fair and not fair. Yet stepping back to the place of surrender, I then see that no relationship, no thing, no money, position, or even my time is my own or is a guarantee in this life.  Then in that place of surrender….and I realize that too is my choice, hold on or let it go.

Full circle…God gave us the choice to love Him, the choice to serve Him, the choice to be obedient.  He knew that it would cost us to belong to Him.  And at times that cost would be very high.  That’s why he sent Jesus…the perfect example of the high cost of the call.

Today these lyrics ring true…

“My heart beating, my soul breathing…I found my life when I laid it down.  

Upward falling, spirit soaring…I touch the sky, when my knees hit the ground” (Hillsong United “Touch the Sky”)

Upside down God-life, upside down choices, things that make no sense and cost so much in our finite mind but with God it’s just part of a much grander plan.  Choices, sometimes hard choices with high cost.

The constant, decisive, pivotal place in the Jesus life.

So my friends, choose well today, choose surrender and find your life…your true soul life.

I find my life….when I lay it down…

Counting the cost yet trusting the reward today….bless your soulife!

Dee

 

P.S.

Enjoy this….take a moment and breathe!

Touch the Sky – Hillsong United

Soul Beginnings

Every journey has a launch point.

A crisis

A miracle

A leap of faith

A deep dissatisfaction

No matter what it is, journeys must start somewhere.  And usually when the journey begins we, as humans, have the clear destination set before us in the distance.  I mean, where would a runner be without knowing how to pace themselves for the final destination?

And so we approach life the same way…

A start and a finish, pacing ourselves along the way, putting limits on our days, our lives and those around us.  We have our mind set, our path is sure (or so we think) and we are calm and collected.

Then it happens.

The collision, the stumble, the disorientation, the boredom or sometimes just a u-turn.

And now the journey we were sure of, that we had put our trust in has changed trajectory.  The mind now races, the path is unsure or completely gone and our emotions are everywhere.  It is here that many either stand still or simply just quit the journey they are on.  We settle for “this is the way it is” or maybe “this was all wrong from the beginning”, whatever that voice speaks at that place.  Either way, things are just not the same.

And our soul is immediately not well and the life we had at the beginning drains away like the slow ebb of a dying heartbeat.

What now?

And it happens to us all, young, old, male, female, it happens.  So, what now?

Honestly I sat cross-legged a few years ago and wondered the same.  The disillusionment had set in somewhere on what I thought was the perfect journey with a clear destination.  And with that came the grasping for life and gasping for air.  And it was at this point that something began to penetrate my soul and choices needed to be made.

Immobilizing fear?  Doubt?  Paralyzation?

All the above!

But sometimes we must just step into the craziness of our soul.  And it was here that I began to allow my mind to unravel, a new way to be charted, for my will to become not mine but that of something higher than myself, and for my emotions to become raw and then one by one be healed.  A process, yes definitely!  One that’s been mastered?  Not yet…but that’s the journey!

Comfortable?  No way!  Hard?  Seemed impossible!

But…

The more I allowed myself to be unraveled from the places I’d created for myself (notice I said “I created”), the clearer many things became though others became a far, distant, dim, impossible dream.

Then, as I let go and surrendered more and more, I realized something…it’s so simple…

The simple truth that I was being taught to love myself and be loved and let go of MY created journey and step into the one that had been created for me before time, one made uniquely for me,one that only I can accomplish that, though seemingly impossible, sparked an excitement in me I didn’t understand.  A deep peace settled and a new feeling emerged…rest in my soul.

Step in…that’s all I had to do.  One small step and the journey began.  One small, fearfully whispered “Yes”, having no idea what I was saying yes to.  Something that appeared would cost me so much, yet knowing deep inside the reward would always outweigh the cost and, the destination, though unclear, was a so clear.  It was a call to more than I was and more than I could ever be on my own, a destination always marked out for me but was awaiting an appointed time.

So step in I did.  But stepping in requires leaving things behind, some that need to be left and others that are hard to leave.  Forward motion requires focus on what’s ahead, not what is in the past.

Freedom?  Yes…but a difficult freedom at times.  You see being undone is vulnerable and scary and unsure and we simply don’t like that, as we are a culture of guarded, put-together people.  You know, it’s only the crazy ones that share all that inner “soul” stuff.  We who are “wiser” must keep it all together and make it look good…all with a dying soul.

So as I write today I’m further into the journey, have had successes and failures and have skinned my knees a lot from falling or just from kneeling and crying out.  And it continues…

As I know, it will never be over until moving into eternity so with my backpack slung over my shoulder and my aviators firmly on my face, this girl walks on, steps in, lives full and doesn’t turn back, facing the light of tomorrow that is impregnated with a plethora of hopes and dreams.  Limitless dreams!

Soulife lesson today…

There are always two paths…one well worn, sure and safe and as Robert Frost penned the other “less traveled”.  What will you choose?

Let’s chat!  Are you ready to take that step into new and away from where you are?  Are you ready to let go and move into your future?  Let me journey with you into a real, full, exciting, healthy Soulife!

Who knows…the you, you were created to be may just be around the corner of the road!

Until next time Soulife friends…Blessings!

Dee 🙂